Dear Brian, Thanks again for helping out to proof read. I have modified all the comments. Besides, for "About GNOME.Asia Summit", I added the following sentences as well. Please kindly help to proof read as well. The summit has been recognized as the top 3 Open Source conference in China in 2008 by the Chinese government and the biggest Open Source conference in Vietnam in 2009 by the Vietnamese government. Please refer to gnome.asia/ for more details. And definitely, once the draft is finalized, we can send it to the mobile list , thanks! Regards, Pockey On Tue, 2010-05-11 at 00:02 -0500, Brian Cameron wrote: > Pockey: > > Looks much better. I have some more comments below... > > > Thanks for the comments, I have modified most of them. > > > > I also included a few more pictures to give some space in between. > > > > There are a few things we can only put the details after confirmation > > with COSCUP like the number of banners and other marketing materials to > > be put in the venue for the two days and the media package. > > Makes sense. > > > For mobile platform, would you please or can anyone help to draft a > > paragraph to be included in the proposal? > > I think this would be a better question for mobile-devel-list gnome org > Since GNOME mobile is going to be a big topic and focus at this event, > it would be good to let the people on mobile-devel-list know about this > and get their feedback about the wording as it relates to GNOME mobile. > I think once you get this to a more final draft, it would be good to > share the draft on the mobile-devel-list for feedback. > > > Some comments: > > Page 1: > > > For this third edition of GNOME.Asia Summit we're delighted to > > I would say "of the GNOME.Asia Summit" > > Page 3 & 4: > > > Large logo in website, > > Should say "Large logo on website," > > Actually other packages say "Medium logo on website" or "Small logo on > website". It would read better to say "Large-sized logo on website", > "Medium-sized logo on website" and "Small-sized logo on website". > > > Organisation or sponsorship of a special event or speaker dinner; > > Does this mean that we organize the event or dinner for them, or that > they do the organization? > > > * One (1) cornerstone stand or booth at the size 6x9m (20'x30') > > during 2 days of the conference (at your expense); > > * The opportunity to have one (1) cornerstone stand or booth at the > > size 4,5x6m (15'x20') during the 2 days of the conference (at your > > expense); > > Note that "at the size" is not proper grammar. "of the size" would be > better. Note all of the packages use the "at the size" wording. > > Why do we offer "Cornerstone Platinum Package" recipients two > different sized cornerstone stands or booths? Also, all of the > references to having a stand or booth starts with "The opportunity to > have" except for the one above. This just looks like an error? > > > Access to database of registered participants > > I would say "Access to a database" > > Also the "Gold Package" says: > > > Access to name and email of database of registered participants > > This sounds the same as "Access to a database of registered > participants" from the "Cornerstone Package" but why is the wording > different? > > The "Gold Package" says: > > > Organization or Sponsorship of a special event > > You should not capitalize "sponsorship". > > Page 5: > > > (e.g. USB sticks, bags, notebooks etc, they will be used as freebies > > or lucky draw gifts to guests and participants) > > I would say "(e.g. USB sticks, bags, notebooks, etc. that can be used as > freebies or lucky draw gifts to guests and participatnts. > > Page 10: > > > GNOME.Asia Summit is the yearly GNOME Users and 10Developers Asian > > Conference. > > 10Developers? > > Page 11: > > > GNOME Foundation and its advisory board, can be found at > > www.gnome.org, foundation.gnome.org and http://live.gnome.org > > /AdvisoryBoard. > > The last link seems to be in a different font, and is the only one with > a http:// prefix. Shouldn't they all have an http:// prefix or none? > > > >
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GNOME_Asia_2010_Sponsorship.odt
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