Re: GAS 2010 Sponsorship package proposal

[Brian Cameron <brian cameron oracle com>]

Pockey:

Looks much better.  I have some more comments below...

> Thanks for the comments, I have modified most of them.
>
> I also included a few more pictures to give some space in between.
>
> There are a few things we can only put the details after confirmation
> with COSCUP like the number of banners and other marketing materials to
> be put in the venue for the two days and the media package.

Makes sense.

> For mobile platform, would you please or can anyone help to draft a
> paragraph to be included in the proposal?

I think this would be a better question for mobile-devel-list gnome org 
Since GNOME mobile is going to be a big topic and focus at this event,
it would be good to let the people on mobile-devel-list know about this
and get their feedback about the wording as it relates to GNOME mobile.
I think once you get this to a more final draft, it would be good to
share the draft on the mobile-devel-list for feedback.


Some comments:

Page 1:

> For this third edition of GNOME.Asia Summit we're delighted to

I would say "of the GNOME.Asia Summit"

Page 3 & 4:

> Large logo in website,

Should say "Large logo on website,"

Actually other packages say "Medium logo on website" or "Small logo on 
website".  It would read better to say "Large-sized logo on website",
"Medium-sized logo on website" and "Small-sized logo on website".

> Organisation or sponsorship of a special event or speaker dinner;

Does this mean that we organize the event or dinner for them, or that
they do the organization?

> * One (1) cornerstone stand or booth at the size 6x9m (20'x30')
>   during 2 days of the conference (at your expense);
> * The opportunity to have one (1) cornerstone stand or booth at the
>   size 4,5x6m (15'x20') during the 2 days of the conference (at your
>   expense);

Note that "at the size" is not proper grammar. "of the size" would be 
better.  Note all of the packages use the "at the size" wording.

Why do we offer "Cornerstone Platinum Package" recipients two
different sized cornerstone stands or booths?  Also, all of the
references to having a stand or booth starts with "The opportunity to
have" except for the one above.  This just looks like an error?

> Access to database of registered participants

I would say "Access to a database"

Also the "Gold Package" says:

> Access to name and email of database of registered participants

This sounds the same as "Access to a database of registered
participants" from the "Cornerstone Package" but why is the wording
different?

The "Gold Package" says:

> Organization or Sponsorship of a special event

You should not capitalize "sponsorship".

Page 5:

> (e.g. USB sticks, bags, notebooks etc, they will be used as freebies
> or lucky draw gifts to guests and participants)

I would say "(e.g. USB sticks, bags, notebooks, etc. that can be used as
freebies or lucky draw gifts to guests and participatnts.

Page 10:

> GNOME.Asia Summit is the yearly GNOME Users and 10Developers Asian
> Conference.

10Developers?

Page 11:

> GNOME Foundation and its advisory board, can be found at
> www.gnome.org, foundation.gnome.org and  http://live.gnome.org
> /AdvisoryBoard.

The last link seems to be in a different font, and is the only one with
a http:// prefix.  Shouldn't they all have an http:// prefix or none?