Re: COSCUP / GNOME.Asia Press Release (English Version)-- Need your help to review

[Emily Chen <emilychen522 gmail com>]

This is the 2nd version I merged with both Brian and Stormy's edit.

We will incorporate with other quotes later.

Thanks a lot,
Emily
==========================================================================================

COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 attracted more than 1000 developers, students, business professionals, media and government participants and more than 22 well-known international and domestic companies as sponsors. 

This year, the COSCUP worked with the GNOME Foundation to co-organize the GNOME.Asia Summit together with the COSCUP annual conference.  The join COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010

conference 
 was hosted from  Aug 14 - 15, 
2010 in Academia Sinica, Taipei, Taiwan. COSCUP is a local conference 
organized by the a local community that has been growing every year. 
This 
year, along with GNOME.Asia, it attracted more than 1000 
participants.All tickets sold out just an hour and a half after the 
online 
registration opened up! In addition to the 1000 participants who were 
present at the conference, there are also more than 700 people 
participating through the online video and text broadcast.

The main theme for COSCUP/GNOME.Asia 2010 were HTML 5, Open Web, 
Mobile, GNOME free desktop technology, and FLOSS licensing . More than 80 talks delivered by 60+ international and 
domestic speakers; they delivered speeches, joined panel discussions, brainstormed, and exchanged new ideas at 
this conference.

Well-known international and domestic IT companies are also 
actively involved in this conference. The highly skilled audience also 
provided them with the opportunity to recruit new employees. They were 
recruiting for more than 50 kinds of jobs and 1000 job openings

. Nokia promoted and sold their N900 cellphone and invited speakers to share their latest knowledge and experience about Meego and Symbian 3.

As a result of the conference, the local Taiwanese community and surrounding Asian countries are now more actively involved with the international community, building a better relationship with international organizations . For example, the local community registered the Chinese HTML Interest Group with the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) ; they are working with the GNOME Foundation to build a Taiwan GNOME Users Group; and they are planning to found a Taiwan Cloud Computing Users Group with international and domestic engineers.

The presentations and videos are available on the official website. Please visit COSCUP and GNOME.Asia official website: http://coscup.org/  and  http://gnome.asia.

==========================================================================================

-Emily

2010/8/27 Brian Cameron <brian cameron oracle com>

Stormy:

Thanks.  I think you caught most of my comments.  I still have a few.

COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 attracted more than 1000 developers, students,
business professionals and government officials participants and more

"government officials participants" sounds weird to me.

I changes to  government participants.

than 22 well-known international and domestic companies as sponsors.

This year, the COSCUP worked with the GNOME Foundation to co-organize
the GNOME.Asia Summit together with the COSCUP annual conference.  The
joint conference COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 was hosted on  Aug 14 - 15,
2010 in Academia Sinica, Taipei, Taiwan. COSCUP is a local conference
organized by the local community that has been growing every year. This

I would say "a local community"

Done

year, along with GNOME.Asia, it attracted more than 1000 participants.
The conference was sold out just an hour and a half after the online
registration opened up! In addition to the 1000 participants who were
present at the conference, there were also more than 700 people
participating through the online video and text broadcast.

The main theme for COSCUP/GNOME.Asia 2010 were HTML 5, Open Web, Mobile,
GNOME free desktop technology, and legal and license in FLOSS community.

Should that more simply be "FLOSS licensing"?

Yes, done. 

More than 80 talks delivered by 60+ international and domestic speakers;
they delivered speeches, joined panel discuss, brainstormed, and

I would say "panel discussions"

Done. 

exchanged new ideas at this conference.

Well-known international and domestic IT companies were also actively
involved in this conference. The highly skilled audience also provided
them with the opportunity to recruit new employees. They were recruiting
for more than 50 kinds of jobs and 1000 opening jobs.

I would say "job openings" instead of "opening jobs".

Done.

Nokia promoted and
sold their N900 cellphone and invited speakers to share their latest
knowledge and experience about Meego and Symbian 3.

As a result of the conference, the local Taiwanese community and
surrounding Asian countries are now more actively involved with the
international GNOME community, building a better relationship with the
official community and the GNOME Foundation.

What is meant by "official community"?  Do you mean local Taiwan
government?  Or is the "GNOME Foundation" an example of an official
community?  If it is an example, it reads a bit weird to say "For
example" after already providing an example.

Official communities means organization like: W3C and GNOME foundation. Since there are three examples, I just say "international organizations".

For example, the local
community registered the Chinese HTML Interest Group with the World Wide
Web Consortium (W3C) ; they are working with the GNOME Foundation to
build the upcoming Taiwan GNOME Users Group; and they are planning to

I would say "a Taiwain GNOME Users Group".  Upcoming sounds weird to
me.  If people are building one, there must already be some degree of
community rather than an upcoming community.

Done

start a Taiwan Cloud Computing Users Group with international and
domestic engineers.

The presentations and videos are available on the official website.
Please visit COSCUP and GNOME.Asia offcial website: http://coscup.org/

and http://gnome.asia <http://gnome.asia/>.

You misspell "official".

Changes, thanks. 

Brian