Re: COSCUP / GNOME.Asia Press Release (English Version)-- Need your help to review

[Brian Cameron <brian cameron oracle com>]

Stormy:

Thanks.  I think you caught most of my comments.  I still have a few.

> COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 attracted more than 1000 developers, students,
> business professionals and government officials participants and more

"government officials participants" sounds weird to me.

> than 22 well-known international and domestic companies as sponsors.
>
> This year, the COSCUP worked with the GNOME Foundation to co-organize
> the GNOME.Asia Summit together with the COSCUP annual conference.  The
> joint conference COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 was hosted on  Aug 14 - 15,
> 2010 in Academia Sinica, Taipei, Taiwan. COSCUP is a local conference
> organized by the local community that has been growing every year. This

I would say "a local community"

> year, along with GNOME.Asia, it attracted more than 1000 participants.
> The conference was sold out just an hour and a half after the online
> registration opened up! In addition to the 1000 participants who were
> present at the conference, there were also more than 700 people
> participating through the online video and text broadcast.
>
> The main theme for COSCUP/GNOME.Asia 2010 were HTML 5, Open Web, Mobile,
> GNOME free desktop technology, and legal and license in FLOSS community.

Should that more simply be "FLOSS licensing"?

> More than 80 talks delivered by 60+ international and domestic speakers;
> they delivered speeches, joined panel discuss, brainstormed, and

I would say "panel discussions"

> exchanged new ideas at this conference.
>
> Well-known international and domestic IT companies were also actively
> involved in this conference. The highly skilled audience also provided
> them with the opportunity to recruit new employees. They were recruiting
> for more than 50 kinds of jobs and 1000 opening jobs.

I would say "job openings" instead of "opening jobs".

> Nokia promoted and
> sold their N900 cellphone and invited speakers to share their latest
> knowledge and experience about Meego and Symbian 3.
>
> As a result of the conference, the local Taiwanese community and
> surrounding Asian countries are now more actively involved with the
> international GNOME community, building a better relationship with the
> official community and the GNOME Foundation.

What is meant by "official community"?  Do you mean local Taiwan
government?  Or is the "GNOME Foundation" an example of an official
community?  If it is an example, it reads a bit weird to say "For
example" after already providing an example.

> For example, the local
> community registered the Chinese HTML Interest Group with the World Wide
> Web Consortium (W3C) ; they are working with the GNOME Foundation to
> build the upcoming Taiwan GNOME Users Group; and they are planning to

I would say "a Taiwain GNOME Users Group".  Upcoming sounds weird to
me.  If people are building one, there must already be some degree of
community rather than an upcoming community.

> start a Taiwan Cloud Computing Users Group with international and
> domestic engineers.
>
> The presentations and videos are available on the official website.
> Please visit COSCUP and GNOME.Asia offcial website: http://coscup.org/
> and http://gnome.asia <http://gnome.asia/>.

You misspell "official".

Brian