Re: COSCUP / GNOME.Asia Press Release (English Version)-- Need your help to review

[Brian Cameron <brian cameron oracle com>]

Emily:

> I have finished the draft English version of the COSCUP / GNOME.Asia
> Press Release.
>
> We need the *native English speakers*' help on review and edit it.

Looks good.  Some comments below...

> COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 attracted more than 1000 developers, students,
> business professionals and government officials participants, and more
> than 22 well-known international and domestic companies as sponsors.
>
> This year, the annual event COSCUP work with GNOME Foundation

I would say "COSCUP event" instead of "event COSCUP".
I would say "worked" instead of "work".

> co-organize the GNOME.Asia Summit together.  The joint conference COSCUP

I would say "to co-organize".

> / GNOME.Asia 2010 was hosted on  Aug 14 - 15, 2010, in Academia Sinica,

I would say "The join COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 conference was hosted
from".

> Taipei, Taiwan. COSCUP, a local conference organized by local community,

I would say "by a local community".

> which is growing every year. This year, it attracted more than 1000

I would say "COSCUP / GNOME.Asia 2010 attracted more" instead of "it
attracted more".

> participants. All the ticket is sold out just one and a half hour after

I would say "All tickets sold out".

> the online registration was open. In additional to the 1000 participants
> who arrive upon the scene, there are more than 700 people who also can

I would say "arrived" instead of "arrive".
I would say "there were more" instead of "there are more".

> experience the conference by viewing the online video and text broadcast.

I would say "who also experienced" instead of "who also can experience".

> The main theme for COSCUP/GNOME.Asia 2010 are : HTML 5, Open Web,

I would say "were" instead of "are".

> Mobile,  GNOME free desktop technology, and legal and license in FLOSS
> community etc.

"and legal and license in FLOSS community" isn't very clear what it
means.  Should this be more simply "FLOSS licensing"?

> The topic are various, more than 80 talks delivered by

I would say "topics were" instead of "topic are".

> more than 60 speakers from international and domestic, they delivered

I would say "both" instead of "from".

> speeches, joined panel discuss, had brainstorming, and exchanged new

I would say "panel discussions" instead of "panel discuss".
I would say "brainstorming sessions" instead of "brainstorming".

> ideas in this conference.

I would say "at this conference" instead of "in this conference".

> Well-known international and domestic IT companies also actively

I would say "are also actively" instead of "also actively".

> involved into this conference, they use the golden opportunity to

I would say "with" instead of "into".
I would say "used" instead of "use".

> recruit new employees during the conference. They providing more than 50

I would say "provided" instead of "providing".

> kinds of work and 1000 opening jobs. Nokia promote and sale their N900

What does "50 kinds of work" mean?

I would say "promoted and sold" instead of "promote and sale".

> cellphone, as well as invite the speakers to share their latest

I would say "invited".

> knowledge and experience about the Meego and Symbian 3.
>
> After the conference, the local community is actively involved into the

I would say "has been" instead of "is".
I would say "with" instead of "into".

> international community, building a better relationship with the
> official community and foundation.

What is meant by "official community"? Might be better to refer to them
by name if they are official.

> Local community they has registered

I would remove the word "they".

> the Chinese HTML Interest Group in  World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) ;

I would say "with" instead of "in".

> they are work with GNOME foundation to build the upcoming Taiwan GNOME

I would say "working" instead of "work".

I would just say "a" instead of "the upcoming".

> Users Group; At the same time, local community is planning to found the

I would say "the local community is planning to found a"

> Taiwan Cloud Computing Users Group with engineers from international and
> domestic.

I would say "from the international and domestic community."

> The presentations and videos are available on the official website.
> Please visit COSCUP and GNOME.Asia offcial website: http://coscup.org/

You misspell "official".

> and http://gnome.asia.

Brian