Re: GNOME 3.24 Release Video: Manuscript Draft 1

[Karen Sandler <karen gnome org>]

On 2017-02-17 14:00, Bastian Ilso wrote:
> Hellooo engagement.
>
> Release Video coming up and I need feedback.
>
> https://wiki.gnome.org/ThreePointTwentythree/ReleaseVideo [1]
>
> inspirational questions for you:
> - How can we spice up the narrative a bit?
> - Can you help me reduce repeating wordings?
> - Anything that seems redundant / can be boiled down?
>
> Write suggestions as reply to this e-mail or on the wiki page. Thank 
> you!

Thank you for doing this! I made some of the changes that I would 
ordinarily make as I was recording the voiceover (and to make it sound a 
little punchier)... I think adding more information about some of the 
new features like Recipes and photo editing tools would help (which I 
haven't been following). I added some questions in the bullet points.

karen