Re: Scribus help (was Re: [guadec-list] Brochure design settled - need content work)

[Davyd Madeley <davyd madeley id au>]

On Wed, 2006-02-15 at 10:23 +0100, Ludovic Danigo wrote:

> Today the 15th at 24h GMT. This is overdue. We have to
> put an end at delaying it and loosing time and energy
> on it better spent elsewhere.

If we really do intend for this to be reusable in future years, it does
warrant some amount of effort. While the content is great, much of it
shows that it was written by non-native English speakers and I feel this
would impact us negatively in English-speaking countries.

I am attaching two attachments: the first is a list of page by page
notes I just compiled, covering language, grammar and formatting.

The second is some text I've submitted previously, but was not
incorporated (I received no feedback on it).

The text on Page 4 still needs some work, but I am having trouble with
this.

After this, it could still do with one final proofread before it is
printed to check for glaring mistakes and Australian-English spellings.

--d

-- 
Davyd Madeley

http://www.davyd.id.au/
08B0 341A 0B9B 08BB 2118  C060 2EDD BB4F 5191 6CDA

Page 1
======

  Consider changing "sponsor brochure" to "sponsor's brochure"

Page 2
======

  Change "What is the GUADEC" to "What is GUADEC?" - note the question mark
  
  Left side bar - consider using a justified alignment
  
  "visionary, motivated developers" sounds wrong, remove "visionary".
  
  "future direction" -> "future directions"
  
  GNOME should be consistantly capitalised
  
  We should also note that UNIX and Linux are registered trademarks somewhere

  No blank line after "The primary goals of GUADEC are:"

  There should be an 'and' after the ; on the line "to help corporate partners
  be involved in the project;" The whole block should read as one sentence.

  "The 7th Edition" <- this is a title, it should be in title case
  "consecuative" -> "consecutive"

  No paragraph break between "The weeks will be split into..." and "During the
  three days of the main..."

  No blank line after "three tracks will be presented:"

  There should be an 'and' after the ; on the line "Catwalk: showcasing
  technology and applications;". The whole block should read as one sentence.

  Consider changing this sentence to "Catwalk: showcasing the latest technology
  and applications;"

Page 3
======

  "These streams will in turn be aimed at three different groups of people:"
  No blank like after this sentence, the next three points should have bullet
  points and there should be an "and" after the ; in "The Client: including
  sessions on big ... ... corporate requirements and public administration;"

  Mentioning both administration and public administration sounds redundant and
  dull, consider changing this to "use in government".

  In "The Developer" clarify "languages" and "programming languages".
  Don't break this paragraph with the map.

  I'm pretty sure I wrote a new section for About Vilanova and About CampuMed,
  I'll resend them.

Page 4
======

  "Why sponsoring us?" - this is not a sentence, consider "Why sponsor GUADEC?"

  Then change the next paragraph to something like:
    "Each year, GUADEC attracts around 500 key software developers,
    press members, business people and government staff from around
    the globe. Together attendees share their experiences, technology and ideas
    in developing, using and deploying the GNOME platform.

  "Previous Sponsors" -> "Past Sponsors"
  "Previous Speakers" -> "Past Speakers" - these are style things

  Let me get back to you on the rest of Page 4.

Page 5
======

  Remove "Sponsorship Exclusivities" - exclusivities is not a word

  "Conerstone" -> "Cornerstone"

  By definition of a cornerstone, there can only be one cornerstone sponsor.
  Consider changing this paragraph to:
    "The cornerstone sponsor is granted top billing on the GUADEC sponsor's list
     and publications, as well as premium advertising and exhibition space
     at the event. Recognition as GUADEC's cornerstone sponsor will solidify
     your company's position as both an industry leader and strong supporter
     of GNOME.

  "Conerstone" -> "Cornerstone"

  Lowercase "Opportunity" -> "the opportunity" - it is part of a sentence
  It is also "a social occasion"

  Add an "and" after the ; of the line "access to the press room"

  Again, remove "sponsorship exclusivities"

  For Diamond Sponsor, change the description to:
  "A diamond sponsor receives billing on the GUADEC sponsor's list, plus
  advertising and exibition space at the event. As a diamond sponsor,
  you will be well recognised as a supporter of GNOME and its community.

  Blank line before "Being a diamond sponsor grants your company:"

  Change "sponsorship of an event..." to "the opportunity to sponsor a social
  occasion" to be consistant with the Cornerstone sponsor

  Again, there should be an "and" after the ; in "access to the press room;"

  In Platinum sponsor, change:
  "The platinum sponsor grants you excellent ..." -> "Being a platinum sponsor
  grants your company excellent ..."

  Being is now on the same line, either choose to have it here, or have it where
  it is for the Cornerstone sponsor, you can't have it both ways.

  Again, there should be an "and" after the ; in "access to the press room;"

  On the sidebar, change this to something like:
    "Custom Sponsorship Opportunities

    If you find a sponsorship package unsuitable to your company's budget or
    requirements, custom sponsorship packages are available. Custom sponsorship
    could include the sponsorship of a formal dinner, attendee party or even
    conference bags offering a highly visible logo space, there are many
    possibilites.

    Custom sponsorship and costs can be discussed with the GUADEC organisers and
    will be handled on a case-by-case basis. Please contact the Sponsors
    Coordinator (details overleaf) if you wish to know more."

Page 6
======

  Change the first paragraph to:
    "Sponsorship applications are handled on a "first come, first served" basis.
    Please complete the application form below and review the terms and
    conditions of sponsorship available on the next page. If you require
    additional copies of this form, please contact us."

  "Fax the completed and signed form to:
    ATTENTION: ...
    ...
    ..."

  "Sponsor Informations" -> "Sponsor Information"

  "Contact Full Name" -> "Contact's Full Name"

  "Designation" -> "Position"

  "Total sponsorship amount requested" - this doesn't make any sense, what is
  trying to be said here?

  I would have a lawyer read through this disclaimer.

  "Authorizing Signature and Date:"

Page 7
======

  I would have a lawyer read through this, if it hasn't already happened.
  Changes I think might be in order are "Sponsor application" -> "Sponsorship
  application". I do not think that "Organisator" is a word.

  At the end, they are "Terms and Conditions"

Page 8
======

  We should use a vectorised image here, and possibly lose the white background.
  Jeff Waugh has some appropriate images.

About Vilanova
==============

Vilanova is a city in Spain, 40km south of Barcelona. Vilanova has a population
of around 50,000 inhabitants and still retains many features of a traditional
coastal village with its fishing harbour, agriculture and century-old University
of Engineering.

Vilanova is easy to reach and is only 20km from Barcelona International Airport
or 50km from Reus Airport. Accommodation is no problem with hotels, hostels,
and camping grounds all available. Vistors can also stay in the nearby villages
of Sitges and Calafell only one train stop away.

About CampuMed
==============

The Campus de la Mediterrania is a joint project of the Universitat Politecnica
de Catalunya (UPC), the local council of Vilanova and the Mediterranean European
Institute. At the heart of this lovely campus lies the Universitat
Politechnica's Engineering School.

Last year the CampuMed played host to UPC's Free Software Conference, the
biggest biggest free software event in Catalonia <http://jornadespl.upc.es> as
well as several other events.

As well as the facilities offered by the CampuMed will be supported by the
impressive Museu Victor Balaguer (XXX: does Museu mean museum?) and the Museu
del Ferrocarril.