Re: 3.14 Video Manuscript Revision

[Christian Hergert <christian hergert me>]

Some fairly detailed suggestions. Feel free to take what you like.

- New shell animations has landed, for example a brand new close
animation and (??).
+ New shell animations have landed including a brand new close animation.

- The GNOME theme has also been re-written giving improvement to a lot
of visual decorations, to make your apps look even greater.
+ The GNOME theme has been revamped to improve many visuals, making your
apps look even better!

- Over the summer, Maps has gained routing support, Photos has gained
photo sharing support and Music has gained playlist support to mention a
few [show quick-feature].
+ Over the summer Maps gained navigation routing, Photos gained phtoo
sharing, and Music gained playlist support.

However, I generally follow the sentences should have 15 words or less
guideline. Possibly worth breaking those each into their own sentence.

- Furthermore, a new game has landed called Hitori which can be
installed from GNOME Software.
+ Furthermore, a new game has landed called Hitori which can be
installed using the GNOME Software application.

- With 3.14, developers can look forward to a more comfortable
development environment too.
+ With GNOME 3.14, developers can look forward to a more comfortable
development environment.

- GTK has focused on improving the developer experience and will
continue to do so.
+ GTK has begun an ongoing effort to improve the developer experience.

- More documentation has also been created, among others the GNOME 3
Human Interfaces Guidelines which has been released along with 3.14.
+ More documentation was added, including a brand new set of Human
Interfaces Guidelines targeting GNOME 3.14.

- And multi-touch support has landed for you to utilize in your app.
+ To further hardware enablement, multi-touch has been added in GTK to
support gestures.

I'm okay with the Builder line I guess. I don't want to seem like I'm
hijacking 3.14 release notes for something that, while under the GNOME
umbrella, is a selfish effort of my own desires :-)

- GNOME 3.14 has gained Clipboard support on Wayland and we're pushing
to have good tablet, keyboard and touch support through libinput.
+ GNOME 3.14 has gained Clipboard support on Wayland. We're advancing
libinput to improve the experience on keyboards, tablets, and touch.

^ Not sure on this one, is someone from GNOME contributing to libinput
development?

- Wayland is an important step towards a more secure and private GNOME
desktop.
+ Wayland is an important step towards a more secure and privacy
enabling GNOME desktop.

- Many distributions will ship GNOME 3.14 the next few months.
+ Many distributions will ship GNOME 3.14 the upcoming months.

- Or come join us making our next GNOME release even greater [link to
GetInvolved]. We look forward to get you started.
+ Come join us making the next GNOME release even greater! [link] We
look forward to helping you get started!

-- Christian



On 08/17/2014 02:28 AM, Bastian Hougaard wrote:
> Hi Engagement,
>
> I finished writing a rough draft for the 3.14 release video. It would be
> great if you could read the manuscript through, make any corrections,
> re-write sentences, come with suggestions or questions (here or in the
> feedback section).
>
> https://wiki.gnome.org/BastianIls%C3%B8/ReleaseVideoG3.14#Manuscript
>
>
> What do you think?
>
> -bastianilso
>
>
>
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