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[release-notes/gnome-3-20] final edits and proof reading to the index and more page

commit abacb7d665557bfa482ffa3e3cdc019b71be7346
Author: Allan Day <allanpday gmail com>
Date:   Wed Mar 16 10:45:13 2016 +0000

    final edits and proof reading to the index and more page

 help/C/index.page |   13 ++---
 help/C/more.page  |  141 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++-------------------------
 2 files changed, 79 insertions(+), 75 deletions(-)
---
diff --git a/help/C/index.page b/help/C/index.page
index bf95d6d..d461b5f 100644
--- a/help/C/index.page
+++ b/help/C/index.page
@@ -51,9 +51,9 @@
     installation or use a command line tool to get the next version of your
     distribution. It is a major milestone in making GNOME-based systems user
     friendly and accessible to all.</p>
-    <p>Upgrading your operating system is simple and convenient. You are
-    automatically notified when an upgrade is available to be downloaded, as
-    well as when it is ready to be installed. Installation of the upgrade
+    <p>Upgrading your operating system is simple and convenient: you are
+    automatically notified when an upgrade is available to be downloaded, and
+    are given feedback about download progress. Installation of the upgrade
     happens while the system is not running, in order to increase safety and
     prevent errors.</p>
   </section>
@@ -112,8 +112,8 @@
     <media type="image" src="figures/media-controls.png"/>
     <p>With GNOME 3.20, media controls are now built-in and displayed in the
     notification/clock area. This provides a way to quickly access media
-    applications (music or video) that are currently in use. Controls for
-    multiple media applications can even be shown at the same time.</p>
+    applications (including music or video) that are currently in use. Controls
+    for multiple media applications can even be shown at the same time.</p>
     <p>The controls show the name and artist of the currently playing track,
     which can be paused and resumed. It is also possible to skip forward and
     back. This new feature works with a large range of music players, using the
@@ -140,8 +140,7 @@
     <p>The new version of Polari also supports many more traditional IRC
     features, like the /msg command, tab completion for IRC commands, and the
     ability to open IRC links.</p>
-    <p>In addition to these features, 3.20 includes some significant smaller
-    changes:</p>
+    <p>In addition to these features, 3.20 includes other smaller changes:</p>
     <list>
       <item><p>Polari can now handle server passwords (this is especially
       useful when using <link
diff --git a/help/C/more.page b/help/C/more.page
index aefa50b..498a9ce 100644
--- a/help/C/more.page
+++ b/help/C/more.page
@@ -29,49 +29,51 @@
   <title>Other Improvements in GNOME &gnomeversion;</title>
 
   <p>GNOME &gnomeversion; includes many other new features and improvements,
-  including improvements to Maps, new features in Software and an improved
-  font.</p>
+  including reviews in software, improvements to Maps and Web, and an improved
+  user interface font.</p>
 
   <section id="software-reviews">
     <title>Software Reviews</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/placeholder.png"/>
-    <p>Software now lets you see what other users think about an application you are
-    considering installing, and you can share your thoughts with others by
-    writing your own reviews.</p>
-    <p>Reviews allow applications to be rated, and an average rating is shown for each
-    application, allowing you to get an idea at a glance. Software also
-    prioritizes the display of most useful reviews, and you can let other users
-    know when you've found a review to be useful by rating it up.</p>
+    <p>Software now lets you see what people think about the applications that
+    are available to install. Each review gives an application a star rating,
+    and an average rating is shown for each application, allowing you to
+    evaluate applications at a glance. The most relevant and useful reviews are
+    shown first, and you can let other users know when you've found a review to
+    be useful by rating it up.</p>
+    <p>And, of course, you can write your own reviews, and let others know
+    what you think of the applications you've used. This is a great way to help
+    out and improve the experience for other users.</p>
   </section>
 
   <section id="location-services-privacy">
     <title>Privacy Controls for Location Services</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/location-services-privacy.png"/>
     <p>Location services makes it possible for applications to find out your
-    current location. While this can be extremely useful, it can also be a
+    current location. This can be extremely useful, but it can also be a
     privacy issue if you don't want other parties to know where you are. For
     this reason, it has always been possible to disable location services, in
-    order to prevent them from being used by applications. With 3.20, access to
-    location services can be decided per application, making these privacy
-    controls much more flexible.</p>
-    <p>Privacy controls for location services are also much more robust in
-    3.20, since applications are now required to ask for access to location
-    data the first time they try to access it. These applications can
-    provide an explanation for why they are trying to access location data.</p>
-    <p>All the applications that have requested access to location data are
-    listed in  a new part of the privacy settings. Here you can allow or deny
-    access for each application. It is also possible to turn off location
-    services for the entire system. As with previous versions of GNOME, an
-    indicator is displayed in the top bar when location service are in use.</p>
+    order to prevent them from being used by applications. With 3.20, these
+    privacy controls have been enhanced, to be more robust and to give you more
+    control.</p>
+    <p>In the new release, access to location services can be decided per
+    application: each application has to ask for access to location data the
+    first time it requests it, and it is also possible to decide which
+    applications can use location services from the privacy settings.</p>
+    <p>With the new privacy controls, applications can provide an explanation
+    for why they are trying to access location data, which helps to make
+    application behavior more understandable. As with previous versions of
+    GNOME, an indicator is displayed in the top bar when location service are
+    in use.</p>
   </section>
 
   <section id="web">
     <title>Web</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/web.png"/>
-    <p>Web, the GNOME browser, has a new downloads interface. These are now
-    show in a popover, that can be accessed from the header bar. This means
-    that downloads don’t get in the way, and you can also easily view previous
-    downloads.</p>
+    <p>Web, the GNOME browser, has several major new features in 3.20, as well
+    as many smaller improvements. Downloads are now shown in a popover that can
+    be accessed from the header bar. This means that downloads don’t get in the
+    way, and makes it possible to easily view previous downloads.</p>
     <p>Session restore is another major new feature in the new version of Web.
     With previous versions, your old tabs were reopened when Web was restarted,
     however some things were not restored as you left them. That has now
@@ -86,8 +88,6 @@
       <item><p>New tabs now inherit browsing history when opened from a link
       (this restores behavior that was lost in a previous version).</p></item>
       <item><p>The cookies dialog now allows you to search.</p></item>
-      <item><p>Seamless support for websites using GSS-Negotiate using new
-      libsoup feature (see below).</p></item>
       <item><p>Web now supports advanced web-based graphics and audio, with
       WebGL and Web Audio.</p></item>
     </list>
@@ -96,30 +96,33 @@
   <section id="maps">
     <title>Maps</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/maps.png"/>
-    <p>The new version of Maps includes a number of significant new features.
-    With 3.20, it is now possible to add and edit place information (provided
-    by <link href="https://www.openstreetmap.org/";>OpenStreetMap</link>). In
-    addition, place popovers now include more information, such as website
-    addresses and phone numbers; this can be viewed by expanding each place
-    popover.</p>
-    <p>Custom layers is another new feature for 3.20. This allows additional
-    map layers to be added, using common mapping file formats like GeoJSON, KML
-    and GPX. These can be found online for things like local political borders,
-    points of interest for events, or environmental data. It is also possible
-    to use this feature to display your own route data from mobile devices or
-    Google.</p>
-    <p>3.20 also introduces printing for route directions. These directions
-    show map images along with directions, for a clear set of route
-    instructions. It is also possible to use Maps to generate map images in
-    PNG format. This can be useful for including in documents and websites, or
-    even for sharing location information with others.</p>
+    <p>The new version of Maps includes a large collection of improvements.
+    The most significant of these include:</p>
+    <list>
+      <item><p>It is now possible to add and edit place information from
+      <link href="https://www.openstreetmap.org/";>OpenStreetMap</link>.</p>
+      </item>
+      <item><p>Place popovers now include more information, such as website
+      addresses and phone numbers; this can be viewed by expanding each place
+      popover.</p></item>
+      <item><p>Custom layers allows additional map layers to be added, using
+      common mapping file formats like GeoJSON, KML and GPX. These can be found
+      online for things like local political borders, points of interest for
+      events, or environmental data. It is also possible to use this feature to
+      display your own route data from mobile devices or Google.</p></item>
+      <item><p>Printing for route directions. These directions show a clear
+      list of directions, along with map images for each instruction.</p></item>
+      <item><p>Maps can now be used to generate map images in PNG format. This
+      can be useful for including in documents and websites, or even for
+      sharing with others.</p></item>
+    </list>
     <p>Other smaller improvements in this release include:</p>
     <list>
-      <item><p>The new scale ruler that is shown on the map.</p></item>
+      <item><p>A new scale ruler that is shown on the map.</p></item>
       <item><p>Maps now shows the last viewed location when started, so you
       don't have to keep navigating back to the same place.</p></item>
-      <item><p>Maps is now able to open location links that use the 'geo:'
-      prefix.</p></item>
+      <item><p>Location links that use the 'geo:' prefix can now be opened.</p>
+      </item>
       <item><p>Information about roundabouts is now fully provided in
       directions.</p></item>
     </list>
@@ -134,18 +137,18 @@
     include additional character sets, including Vietnamese, Cyrillic and
     Devanagari, as well as other miscellaneous characters.</p>
     <p>Many characters have also received a face-lift, such as Cyrillic, which
-    now render consistently, and special Icelandic characters.</p>
+    now renders consistently, and special Icelandic characters.</p>
   </section>
 
   <section id="mouse-and-touchpad">
     <title>Redesigned Mouse and Touchpad Settings</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/mouse-and-touchpad.png"/>
-    <p>The mouse and touchpad interface has been overhauled, to give it a
-    cleaner more modern look. The new design makes it quicker to locate the
-    settings that are relevant to you: for instance, the touchpad settings will
-    only be displayed if you have a touchpad.</p>
-    <p>More explanation for settings is also provided, such as for the natural
-    scrolling and primary button settings.</p>
+    <p>In Settings, the mouse and touchpad preferences have been overhauled, to
+    give a cleaner and more modern look. The new design makes it quicker to
+    locate the settings that are relevant to you: for instance, the touchpad
+    settings will only be displayed if you have a touchpad. More explanation
+    for settings is also provided, such as for the natural scrolling and
+    primary button settings.</p>
     <p>As a part of these changes, the double-click delay setting been moved to
     the universal access settings.</p>
   </section>
@@ -154,12 +157,12 @@
     <title>dconf Editor</title>
     <media type="image" src="figures/dconf-editor.png"/>
     <p>dconf Editor has had a facelift for 3.20. Settings lists have been
-    overhauled, to give a better overview, and each row now includes the
+    overhauled, to give a better overview, with each row now including the
     description for the setting. Search uses the standard design found in other
-    GNOME applications, making it easier to find, and it can be activated by
-    starting to type.</p>
+    GNOME applications, making it easier to find. Search can also be activated
+    by just starting to type.</p>
     <p>The new version includes a number of new features, too: bookmarks allow
-    you to easily go back to frequently used settings and "use default value"
+    you to easily go back to frequently used settings, and "use default value"
     switches allow you to toggle settings you have changed. Copy current page
     and reset visible keys are other handy functions that have been added.</p>
   </section>
@@ -171,7 +174,7 @@
     version has updated artwork and a fun, retro arcade style, including little
     worm icons to indicate how many remaining lives you have. The addition of a
     new game screen and better integration of high scores makes the game more
-    straightforward engaging.</p>
+    straightforward and engaging.</p>
   </section>
 
   <section id="more">
@@ -189,12 +192,13 @@
       for Wi-Fi access points. This prevents tracking by other parties.
       </p></item>
       <item><p>In the To Do application, tasks in the scheduled view are now
-      grouped under date headings. A new plugin system is planned to allow
-      linking with online task managers, as well as adding a variety of
-      creative features.</p></item>
-      <item><p>Software now makes better use of screen space: when it has
-      space, the number of applications on the the landing page grows, and the
-      installed, updates, and categories views look better on large displays.
+      grouped under date headings. A new plugin system is also being
+      introduced, which will allow To Do to be connected to online task
+      managers.</p></item>
+      <item><p>Software now makes better use of screen space: the number of
+      applications on the the landing page grows to take advantage of available
+      space, and the installed, updates, and categories views look better on
+      large displays.
       </p></item>
       <item><p>Check boxes and radio buttons now have subtle animations when
       they are selected.</p></item>
@@ -203,7 +207,7 @@
       ‣ gnome ‣ desktop ‣ interface ‣ show-battery-percentage</gui>.</p></item>
       <item><p>If you plug in an audio device (such as a headset, headphones or
       microphone) and it cannot be identified, you will now be asked what kind
-      of device it is. This addresses an issue which prevented headsets and
+      of device it is. This addresses an issue that prevented headsets and
       microphones being used on many Dell computers.</p></item>
       <item><p>Documents now allows you to list your documents by author, date
       or name, and looks better when views are empty.</p></item>
@@ -216,7 +220,8 @@
     </list>
   </section>
 
-<!-- TODO: check on status of orca item and add if OK:
+<!-- It hasn't been confirmed whether this feature should be included in the
+release notes:
 
       <item><p>Improved clipboard functionality in Orca. For instance, Orca is
       able to recognize if the text that has just been copied, cut or deleted
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