Seems good. I would probably have re-written it to have
a little "oomph" to it. We're trying to present an
interesting picture of each hackfest. Think the language
used in those gourmet magazines where they start with "It
was a cold day in December, in contrast to the warm bubble
enthusiasm at the UX hackfest.." etc etc.
That said, I think that's really the kind of job of an editor,
write the piece and then we'll start making it look pretty.
You're going in the right direction however, because it is a
good basis for that kind of writing because you need to get
the facts and what happened.
