Re: ROUGH draft of GNOME 3.0 press release (request for comments)

[Brian Cameron <brian cameron oracle com>]

Sumana:

On 03/28/11 07:24 PM, Sumana Harihareswara wrote:
> Groton, MA, April 6 2011: Today the GNOME Desktop project releases GNOME
> 3.0, its first major release in nine years. A revolutionary new user
> interface, new features for developers, and a stronger accessibility
> foundation make this a historic moment for the Linux desktop.

GNOME works on many operating systems that are not "Linux", such as 
FreeBSD and Solaris.  Could we please use a more general term?  I think
more simply saying "make this a historic moment for the free and open
source desktop" would be more inclusive and avoid this issue.

> The GNOME 3 platform consists of the GNOME Shell and the GNOME 3
> development foundation. The GNOME Shell reimagines the user interface
> for the next generation of the Free & Open Source desktop. The
> innovative GNOME Shell allows users to focus on tasks while minimizing
> distractions such as notifications, extra workspaces, and background
> windows.
>
> Jon McCann, one of GNOME Shell's designers, describes it as
> "ineffable...We've taken a pretty different approach in the GNOME 3
> design that focuses on the desired experience and lets the interface
> design follow from that.... With any luck you will feel more focused,
> aware, effective, capable, respected, delighted, and at ease."

I like the above quote, though I am not sure that "With any luck" is
the best wording.  If Jon is agreeable, perhaps this could be slightly
reworded to be a bit more assertive that GNOME will provide benefits
without needing luck.

> GNOME
> Shell aims to "[h]elp us cope with modern life in a busy world. Help us
> connect, stay on track, feel at ease and in control. [To help us be]
> informed without being disrupted."

Jon's quote seems to contain a lot of "..." and "[]" editing.  A press
release would look nicer if we could get Jon's permission to reword the
quote to avoid needing such editorial corrections.

> The GNOME 3 development foundation includes improvements in the display
> backend, a new API, and improvements in search, user messaging, system
> settings, and streamlined libraries.

The word "and" appears twice in this sentence, which seems awkward.

> GNOME 2 applications will continue
> to work in the GNOME 3 environment without modification, allowing
> developers to move to the GNOME 3 environment at their own pace. The
> GNOME 3 release notes include further details.
>
> Matt Zimmerman, Ubuntu CTO at Canonical, praises GNOME 3: "In the face
> of constant change, both in software technology itself and in people's
> attitudes toward it, long-term software projects need to reinvent
> themselves in order to stay relevant. I'm encouraged to see the GNOME
> community taking up this challenge, responding to the evolving needs of
> users and questioning the status quo."
>
> In addition to improvements in user experience and the application
> development framework, this release marks GNOME making its accessibility
> framework available to other desktop environments. GNOME has always been
> a leader in accessibility, making GNOME 3 a usable and productive

Could we say "free software accessibility"?

> environment for everyone. The new release enables applications developed
> for other desktop environments to be just as accessible as native GNOME
> applications on GNOME 3. GNOME strengthens its legendary accessibility
> foundation, and accelerates the pace of innovation across the Linux
> desktop.

I would say "accelerates the pace of innovation on the desktop.".  There
is really no need to specify a particular kernel when making this
point.

> GNOME 3 is the cumulative work of five years of planning and design by
> the GNOME community. McCann notes: "Perhaps the most notable part of the
> design process is that everything has been done in the open. We've had
> full transparency for every decision (good and bad) and every change
> we've made. We strongly believe in this model. It is not only right in
> principle it is just the best way in the long run to build great
> software sustainably in a large community."
>
> In partnership with Novell, Red Hat, other Linux distributors, schools
> and governments, and user groups, GNOME 3 will reach millions of users
> around the world. Over 3500 people have contributed changes to the
> project's code repositories, including the employees of 106 companies.
> GNOME 3 includes innumberable code changes since the 2.0 release 9 years
> ago.

You misspell "innumerable".

> Users and fans of GNOME have planned more than a hundred launch parties
> around the world. Users can download GNOME 3 from gnome3.org
> immediately, or wait for Linux distributions to carry it over the coming
> months. GNOME 3 continues to push new frontiers in user interaction.

I think the term "Linux" is unnecessary in the above sentence and could
be removed.

> The GNOME Project was started in 1997 by two then-university students,
> Miguel de Icaza and Federico Mena. Their aim: to produce a free (as in
> freedom) desktop environment. Since then, GNOME has grown into a hugely
> successful enterprise. Used by millions of people across the world, it
> is the most popular desktop environment for GNU/Linux and UNIX-type
> operating systems.

I would more simply say "most popular free desktop environment".

> The desktop has been utilised in successful,
> large-scale enterprise and public deployments, and the project's
> developer technologies are utilised in a large number of popular mobile
> devices. For further comments and information, contact the GNOME press
> contact team at gnome-press-contact gnome org.
>
> [will add: quotes from: Miguel de Icaza & Stormy Peters (both have
> agreed to provide quotes)]

Brian