Friends of GNOME

[Shaun McCance <shaunm gnome org>]

A big thanks to everybody who worked on revamping our Friends of
GNOME pages.  I did some proofreading and made some improvements.
Patch attached.  I also want to bring a few things to the attention
of the list:

1) The thank-you page suggests subscribing to foundation-list to
get updates.  I think foundation-announce-list is more appropriate
for updates.  Stormy mentioned on IRC possibly suggesting multiple
lists, saying she'd like to encourage people to get more involved.
I think that's a good idea.

2) The page to print to send in a payment by check has different
friends levels than the front page.  I suspect this page wasn't
even updated.  Not only are the levels different, but it says the
framed foot will be signed by TigerT & Miguel de Icaza, instead
of the Board of Directors.

3) Also on the check page, the "YES!" checkbox is above the friend
levels.  This feels very awkward, because the preceding sentence
introduces the friend level, ending with a pretty little colon.
Putting something between that sentence and the list of levels
feels very awkward.

--
Shaun

Index: index.wml
===================================================================
--- index.wml	(revision 6608)
+++ index.wml	(working copy)
@@ -45,9 +45,9 @@
 
 <div id="friend-bread">
 <h2>A free and open source desktop for everyone</h2>
-<p>Help support the GNOME Foundation's goal to provide a free desktop for all users - become a Friend of GNOME. Your donation will ensure that GNOME continues to be a free and open source desktop by providing resources to developers, software and education for end users and promotion for GNOME worldwide.</p>
+<p>Help support the GNOME Foundation's goal to provide a free desktop for all users - become a Friend of GNOME. Your donation will ensure that GNOME continues to be a free and open source desktop by providing resources to developers, software and education for end users, and promotion for GNOME worldwide.</p>
  
-<p>The GNOME desktop is free and accessible software available in many languages. GNOME is the software of choice for programs like One Laptop Per Child, governments and mobile phone applications.
+<p>The GNOME desktop is free and accessible software available in many languages. GNOME is the software of choice for programs like One Laptop Per Child, governments, and mobile phone applications.
 </p>
 
 <h2>Donate to the GNOME Foundation now!</h2>
@@ -58,27 +58,27 @@
 <input type="radio" name="aidtype" value="adopt" checked>
 <img src="images/postcard.png">
 <h3>Adopt a hacker $10 (Monthly)</h3>
-<strong>You get:</strong> A set of GNOME stickers, a thank you postcard from your favorite hacker and a t-shirt after your first year!
+<strong>You get:</strong> A set of GNOME stickers, a thank you postcard from your favorite hacker, and a t-shirt after your first year!
 </div>
 
 <div class="box">
 <input type="radio" name="aidtype" value="associate">
 <img src="images/mousepad.png">
 <h3>Associate $25-500</h3>
-<strong>You get:</strong> A GNOME mouse pad, a set of stickers and recognition of your contribution.
+<strong>You get:</strong> A GNOME mouse pad, a set of stickers, and recognition of your contribution.
 </div>
 
 <div class="box">
 <input type="radio" name="aidtype" value="sponsor">
 <img src="images/t-shirt.png">
 <h3>Sponsor $500-1200</h3>
-<strong>You get:</strong> A GNOME coffee mug, a GNOME t-shirt and recognition of your contribution.</div>
+<strong>You get:</strong> A GNOME coffee mug, a GNOME t-shirt, and recognition of your contribution.</div>
 
 <div class="box">
 <input type="radio" name="aidtype" value="philanthropist">
 <img src="images/poster.png">
 <h3>Philanthropist $1200 or more</h3>
-<strong>You get:</strong> A framed print of GNOME foot, signed by the GNOME Board of Directors, and recognition of your contribution.</div>
+<strong>You get:</strong> A framed print of GNOME foot signed by the GNOME Board of Directors and recognition of your contribution.</div>
 
 <br/>
 
Index: step2.wml
===================================================================
--- step2.wml	(revision 6608)
+++ step2.wml	(working copy)
@@ -157,7 +157,7 @@
 			break;
 		}
 ?>
-<br/><small>You will be redirected to Paypal website.</small>
+<br/><small>You will be redirected to the Paypal website.</small>
 </form>
 
 <br/>
Index: about-foundation.wml
===================================================================
--- about-foundation.wml	(revision 6608)
+++ about-foundation.wml	(working copy)
@@ -20,38 +20,39 @@
 
 <h3>GNOME is a free and open source desktop. Because GNOME is free, every contribution put into GNOME is available to everyone. GNOME is:</h3>
 <ul>
-<li>Used by millions of school children worldwide on the XO "One Laptop Per Child" project</li>
-<li>Available in all major world languages, including 3rd world languages</li> 
-<li>Strives to support accessibility so that it can be used by all people, including users with limited mobility and vision problems.</li>
+<li>Used by millions of school children worldwide through the XO "One Laptop Per Child" project.</li>
+<li>Available in all major world languages, including many third-world languages.</li> 
+<li>Accessible for all people, including users with limited mobility and vision problems.</li>
 </ul>
 
 <div id="column1">
-<h3>During 2008 the GNOME Foundation was able to help bring a free and open source desktop to the world by doing the following:</h3>
+<h3>During 2008, the GNOME Foundation was able to help bring a free and open source desktop to the world by doing the following:</h3>
 <ul>
-<li>Participated in Google Summer of Code in which 30 students and mentors participated. They worked on improving f-spot (an application to manage photos), improving anjuta (integrated development environment), improving cheese (webcam application, similar to photobooth), and working on avahi to support LLMNR (which is the Windows technology similar to zeroconf, iirc). See a complete list of projects <a href="http://code.google.com/soc/2008/gnome/about.html";>here</a>.</li>
+<li>Participating in the Google Summer of Code program in which 30 students and mentors participated. They worked on improving the photo-management application <a href="http://f-spot.org/Main_Page";>F-Spot</a>, improving the integrated development environment <a href="http://anjuta.sourceforge.net/";>Anjuta</a>, improving the webcam application <a href="http://projects.gnome.org/cheese/";>Cheese</a>, and adding <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LLMNR";>LLMNR</a> support to <a href="http://avahi.org/";>Avahi</a>. <a href="http://code.google.com/soc/2008/gnome/about.html";>See a complete list of projects.</a></li>
 
-<li>Ran an Accessibility Outreach Program that resulted in improvements in documentation, magification and mouse control through a webcam. In addition, several smaller tasks like bug fixing were accomplished as well. See a complete list of the tasks <a href="http://www.gnome.org/projects/outreach/a11y/tasks/";>here</a>.</li>
-<li>Held a GTK+ hackfest that was widely seen as successful for getting the GTK+ developers together and was essential for planning the future of GTK+. We plan to build on this success by using the hackfest model for other GNOME technologies. We are currently planning hackfests around topics like usability, desktop search, internet/desktop integration, GNOME Mobile, accessibility, profiling, and performance.</li> 
-<li>Held several world wide developer conferences to enable developers to collaborate effectively and to educate new users and developers.  In Europe, our volunteer run conference, GUADEC, brought 300 GNOME developers together.  This year we had the first GNOME event in Asia, GNOME.Asia, that was held in October 18-19th in Beijing with 300 Asian attendees. </li>
+<li>Running an Accessibility Outreach Program that resulted in improvements in documentation, magnification, and mouse control through a webcam. In addition, several smaller tasks and bug fixes were accomplished. <a href="http://www.gnome.org/projects/outreach/a11y/tasks/";>See a complete list of the tasks here.</a></li>
+
+<li>Holding a GTK+ hackfest, which was widely seen as successful for getting the GTK+ developers together and was essential for planning the future of GTK+. We plan to build on this success by using the hackfest model for other GNOME technologies. We are currently planning hackfests around topics such as usability, desktop search, Internet and desktop integration, GNOME Mobile, accessibility, profiling, and performance.</li> 
+
+<li>Holding several worldwide developer conferences to enable developers to collaborate effectively and to educate new users and developers.  In Europe, our volunteer-run conference GUADEC brought 300 GNOME developers together.  This year we had the first GNOME event in Asia, GNOME.Asia, which was held October 18th and 19th in Beijing with 300 attendees. </li>
 </ul>
 </div> <!-- end of div#column1 -->
 
 <div id="column2">
 <h3>In 2009, we could use your help to accomplish the following:</h3>
 <ul>
-<li>Produce more end user and need focused technology and features through technology specific hackfests. Hackfests are an event where a core team of project developers get together and spend a week in the same place, discussing plans and writing code. They are particularly useful for getting new projects or large features launched (like GTK+ 3.0) or getting a large amount of code written.</li>
-<li>Ensure a free and secure desktop environment for everyone.<li>
-<li>Continue to provide a neutral, confidential place for our sponsors to discuss their GNOME technology related plans.</li>
-<li>Organize a usability study focused on GNOME technologies used by all people including children, users in developing nations and people with accessibility needs.</li>
-<li>Provide travel subsidies to bring our world wide community of volunteer developers together. This enables them to work on existing projects, plan new projects and work with partners and companies that use GNOME technologies.</li>
+<li>Produce more end-user-focused technology and features through technology-specific hackfests. Hackfests are events where a core team of project developers get together and spend a week in the same place, discussing plans and writing code. They are particularly useful for getting new projects or large features launched (like GTK+ 3.0) or getting a large amount of code written.</li>
+<li>Ensure a free and secure desktop environment for everyone.</li>
+<li>Continue to provide a neutral, confidential place for our sponsors to discuss their GNOME-related plans.</li>
+<li>Organize a usability study focused on GNOME technologies used by all people, including children, users in developing nations, and people with accessibility needs.</li>
+<li>Provide travel subsidies to bring our worldwide community of volunteer developers together. This enables them to work on existing projects, plan new projects, and work with partners and companies that use GNOME technologies.</li>
 <li>Have more active dialogs between our sponsor companies and our developers through monthly advisory board meetings. This is one way to bring end user and distribution company needs to GNOME developers.</li>
 <li>Hold a joint GUADEC/Akademy conference, a Free Desktop Summit, in order to encourage collaboration and common specifications.</li>
 <li>Ensure that there is a free and open source stack for mobile devices by working with other mobile groups to define and produce GNOME Mobile.</li>
-<li>Hire a system administrator to manage the GNOME infrastructure. The GNOME community has 1000s of volunteer contributors. The infrastructure to support them from mailing lists to bug tracking system to source code repositories is all maintained by volunteers. A contract system administrator could provide the on-call support that would give our volunteer developers and volunteer administrators with the resources they need to keep the GNOME project moving forward its mission of a free and open source desktop for all.</li> 
-<li>Support local conferences like GNOME.Asia, GUADLAC (Latin America), Boston Summit, GNOME.conf.au (Australia) and Forum GNOME as a forum for community building, technology sharing, and bringing developers, companies and users closer together. 
-Start an internship program aimed at exposing business students to the free and open source software world and bringing their expertise to some of the marketing and business challenges we have.</li>
-<li>Support the community on defining and executing a release plan for GNOME 3.0.</li>
-<li>Encourage more donations from individuals by revamping our Friends of GNOME program and adding an automatic renewal option. Our current program brings in $6,000/year with no advertising. We think we can build on this with better infrastructure and marketing.</li>
+<li>Hire a system administrator to manage the GNOME infrastructure. The GNOME community has thousands of volunteer contributors. The infrastructure to support them, from mailing lists to bug trackers to source code repositories, is all maintained by volunteers. A contracted system administrator could provide the on-call support that would give our volunteer developers and volunteer administrators the resources they need to keep the GNOME project moving forward on its mission of a free and open source desktop for all.</li> 
+<li>Support local conferences such as GNOME.Asia, GUADLAC (Latin America), the Boston Summit, GNOME.conf.au (Australia), and Forum GNOME.  Local conferences provide a forum for building community, sharing technology, and bringing developers, companies, and users closer together.</li>
+<li>Start an internship program aimed at exposing business students to the free and open source software world and bringing their expertise to some of the marketing and business challenges we have.</li>
+<li>Support the community in defining and executing a release plan for GNOME 3.0.</li>
 </div> <!-- end of div#column2 -->
 
 </body>
Index: thank-you.wml
===================================================================
--- thank-you.wml	(revision 6608)
+++ thank-you.wml	(working copy)
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 
 <p>Dear Friend of GNOME,</p>
 
-<p>Thank you so much for your donation to the GNOME Foundation. Your generous support makes it possible for the GNOME Foundation to continue to develop free and open source software for the world. GNOME provides free software that is used in personal desktops, computers for children, cell phones and even medical equipment like breast cancer scanners. People like you make this possible.</p>
+<p>Thank you so much for your donation to the GNOME Foundation. Your generous support makes it possible for the GNOME Foundation to continue to develop free and open source software for the world. GNOME provides free software that is used in personal desktops, computers for children, cell phones, and even medical equipment like breast cancer scanners. People like you make this possible.</p>
 
 <p>Your contribution makes it possible for the GNOME Foundation to support the GNOME project in its mission to provide free and open source software for people like you.</p>