Re: made some release notes 'splash' changes

[Claus Schwarm <c schwarm gmx net>]

On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 09:45:14 -0400
Luis Villa <luis villa gmail com> wrote:

> If someone could proof/comment, I'd appreciate it. The goal was to put
> the most interesting stuff (release notes, getting gnome) first, and
> to clarify the language around each thing. 

Maybe a general note is allowed as well? 

I guess, this will be linked under w.g.o/download/ after the release. If
you click a link called 'download', what is the most important
information? 

I'd certainly not expect 5 paragraphs of text before the promised
information is available. However, perhaps there's room for a better
design next time. :-)

Until then, I'd probably

 * use "of the free and popular multi-platform desktop..."

 * replace 'GNOME's focus is' by 'GNOME focuses on'.

 * break the sentence: "accessibility support. GNOME and ...."

 * include "...are meant to be usable..." (or "supposed to be"?)
 
 * add a paragraph break before "GNOME runs..."

 * replace "...release- what..." by "...release: What..."

 * replace "...and reboot- won't.." by "and "...reboot. It won't ..."

Cheers,
Claus