Re: In need for some text for a poster

[Andreas Nilsson <nisses mail home se>]

Travis Reitter wrote:

> I thought I'd give the text one more "native speaker" parse, to make
> sure it sounds natural to a native English speaker:
>
> ==========
>
> Do you, like many others, fight an endless battle against spyware, worms
> and viruses?
> Are you worried about whether your budget can stand the cost of the next
> software upgrade?
> Do you have the feeling that your software vendor doesn't care about
> you?
> You know, things like that don't make your everyday life better.
>
> With the GNOME Desktop, your troubles are over.
> It's secure, more virus-resistant, and its developers aren't trying to
> lock you into their product. You can choose from a wide variety of GNOME
> software vendors to get the support and features that suit your needs.
>
> Welcome to GNOME -- the Official Desktop of Happy People!
>
> ==========
>
> I also suggest we make all occurences of "GNOME" and "Desktop" in the
> paragraph bold, as well as "www.gnome.org" at the bottom of the poster.
>
> Overall, I really like it! :)
>
> -Travis
>  
You are down to 108 words compared to Daves 116, big improvement!
If we could cut it down further it would be a good thing. Could perhaps 
cut the "like many others"-phrase. That would give us 105 words and make 
make the text more straight forward (it cuts away the commas).
What do you think people?
I like it.
- Andreas