Re: release notes: first draft

[Bob Kashani <bobk ocf berkeley edu>]

On Thu, 2006-03-09 at 23:30 +0100, Claus Schwarm wrote:
> Hi, 
> 
> two suggestion if I'm not too late already:
> 
>  1.) The first sentence is too long: Please stop it after "platforms"
>      otherwise people with low attention will stop reading right there. 
>  2.) "includes" sounds strange. Why not just remove it?
> 
> The paragraph then reads:
> 
>  "GNOME 2.14 is the latest version of the GNOME Desktop; a popular,
> multi-platform desktop environment for Linuxâ, UNIXâ and other
> platforms. Based on Free and Open Source Software, GNOME provides all
> of the common tools computer users have come to expect of a modern
> computing environment, as well as a flexible and powerful platform for
> software developers."

I like this much better. It flows much nicer too. I made the changes. 

Thanks,

Bob

-- 
Bob Kashani
GARNOME Project
http://www.gnome.org/projects/garnome