[release-notes/gnome-3-6] message tray - improve wording

[Allan Day <allanday src gnome org>]

commit 3b059538d397d48d68ccc03db5cec59f6918c2af
Author: Allan Day <allanpday gmail com>
Date:   Mon Sep 17 12:07:08 2012 +0100

    message tray - improve wording

 help/C/users-message-tray.page |   38 +++++++++++++++-----------------------
 1 files changed, 15 insertions(+), 23 deletions(-)
---
diff --git a/help/C/users-message-tray.page b/help/C/users-message-tray.page
index 28c75b3..fc58bd3 100644
--- a/help/C/users-message-tray.page
+++ b/help/C/users-message-tray.page
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 
   <info>
     <link type="guide" xref="index#users.core"/>
-    <desc>Bigger and easier to interact with</desc>
+    <desc>Major updates make it better looking and easier to use.</desc>
     <credit type="author">
       <name its:translate="no">Allan Day</name>
       <email its:translate="no">allanpday gmail com</email>
@@ -22,41 +22,33 @@
 
   <title>Message Tray</title>
 
-  <comment>
-    <p>
-      Copy/pasted from http://afaikblog.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/taking-gnome-3-to-the-next-level/
-    </p>
-  </comment>
-
   <p>
-    Based on testing and your feedback, we've learned and heard that there have
-    been some issues with the message tray. Accessing the tray was fiddly, and
-    the hot corner caused a lot of accidental triggers.
+    The Message Tray has received some major updates for GNOME 3.6. Many of these 
+    changes were based on feedback and testing, which indicated some interaction 
+    issues with the old tray design.
   </p>
 
+  <comment>
+    <p>It isn't clear what the current image is demonstrating. If we can't have a 
+    screencast, a simple screenshot would probably be better.</p>
+  </comment>
+
     <media type="image" src="figures/users-message-tray.png" />
 
   <p>
     The new tray is clearer, better looking, and easier to interact with. It
-    keeps the same schema in place, but it refines the execution so that it is
-    less error-prone and more satisfying to use.
-  </p>
-
-  <p>
-    Instead of overlapping the viewing area, the new tray slides the view up,
-    suggesting that it is in the background, beneath the normal plane of
-    interaction. The items in the tray are also bigger, clearer, and don't move
-    around, making them easier to interact with.
+    refines the existing design so that it is less error-prone and more satisfying 
+    to use. Instead of overlapping the viewing area, the new tray slides the view up, 
+    revealing the tray below. The items in the tray are also bigger, clearer, and 
+    don't move around, making them easier to use.
   </p>
 
   <p>
-    The way that the tray is triggered has also been changed. The hot corner â
+    The way that the tray is triggered has also been altered. The hot corner â
     which many people had problems with â has been replaced. Instead, the whole
     of the bottom screen edge now acts as a trigger area; letting the mouse rest
     there for a short period will cause the tray to appear. We plan to improve
-    this behaviour in subsequent releases, so that a certain amount of pressure
-    against the screen edge is required to open the tray (we need to wait for
-    changes down the stack before we can achieve this).
+    this behaviour in subsequent releases.
   </p>
 
   <note style="hint">