[release-notes/gnome-3-6] lock screen - improve wording

[Allan Day <allanday src gnome org>]

commit cbd72bfe73a67f8a7f1164578f7a361c9403d1b3
Author: Allan Day <allanpday gmail com>
Date:   Mon Sep 17 11:29:50 2012 +0100

    lock screen - improve wording

 help/C/users-lock-screen.page |   48 ++++++++--------------------------------
 1 files changed, 10 insertions(+), 38 deletions(-)
---
diff --git a/help/C/users-lock-screen.page b/help/C/users-lock-screen.page
index 45cdc09..c346f6b 100644
--- a/help/C/users-lock-screen.page
+++ b/help/C/users-lock-screen.page
@@ -6,8 +6,7 @@
 
   <info>
     <link type="guide" xref="index#users.core"/>
-    <desc>See your notifications and the date and time, interact with media
-    playback and change the volume</desc>
+    <desc>A useful and attractive screen when the screen is locked, plus a new login experience.</desc>
     <credit type="author">
       <name its:translate="no">Allan Day</name>
       <email its:translate="no">allanpday gmail com</email>
@@ -29,47 +28,20 @@
   that the screenshot has been captures. Your screenshot is available in
   ~/Pictures." />
 
-  <comment>
-    <p>
-      Copy/pasted from http://afaikblog.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/taking-gnome-3-to-the-next-level/
-    </p>
-  </comment>
-
   <p>
-    This is something that has been on the drawing board
-    for a while. The lock screen has a single primary aim: to provide useful
-    functionality when the screen is locked. Right now, this means we:
+    The lock screen is a major new feature for GNOME 3.6. It provides an attractive display 
+    while your computer is locked, as well as useful functionality, such as the display of notifications 
+    and the ability to control media playback.
   </p>
-
-  <list>
-    <item><p>
-      show the time and date in nice big letters, so you can see it when not directly in front of the device
-    </p></item>
-    <item><p>
-      allow pausing and skipping media playback, as well as changing the volume
-    </p></item>
-    <item><p>
-      display notifications, so that you can see what is happening even if the
-      device is locked, and you can get a summary of what you've missed when you
-      return to your machine (you can turn this off if you have privacy
-      concerns, and we plan to add extra configurability in the future)
-    </p></item>
-  </list>
-
   <p>
-    You shouldn't have to enter a password in order to pause a song that you are
-    playing, and you shouldn't have to dig around your machine to see what has
-    happened while you are away. With the lock screen, you no longer have to.
+    The lock screen means that you can see what is happening while you are away from your computer, and 
+    it allows you to get a summary of what has been happening while you have been away. It also means 
+    that you can easily change the volume, skip a track or pause your music without having to enter 
+    a password.
   </p>
-
   <p>
-    The new lock screen also accomplishes several secondary goals. It creates a
-    much smoother and more satisfying login experience. Creating the lock
-    screen, we made something that feels nice to use, and which sets
-    the tone for your encounter with your device. The screen is designed to resemble a
-    curtain, or a shield, that is removed to reveal the login screen beneath.
-    That suggestion of layering and physicality enhances the experience of using
-    GNOME 3, and is a pattern that is being introduced in other places.
+    Login has also been addressed as a part of the lock screen feature. The result is a smoother and 
+    more satisfying experience when you log into or unlock your computer.
   </p>
 
   <note style="hint">