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[gnome-user-docs/gnome-3-0] Edits for review

commit 17844df626ec194fb220d358b757d914060df411
Author: Phil Bull <philbull gmail com>
Date:   Tue Jun 7 03:19:41 2011 +0100

    Edits for review

 gnome-help/C/net-adhoc.page            |    8 ++++----
 gnome-help/C/net-antivirus.page        |    2 +-
 gnome-help/C/net-editcon.page          |    8 ++++----
 gnome-help/C/net-findip.page           |    4 +---
 gnome-help/C/net-firewall-on-off.page  |   25 +++++++++----------------
 gnome-help/C/net-firewall-ports.page   |   22 +++++++++++-----------
 gnome-help/C/net-fixed-ip-address.page |   30 +++++++++++-------------------
 7 files changed, 41 insertions(+), 58 deletions(-)
---
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-adhoc.page b/gnome-help/C/net-adhoc.page
index ae953cb..c25bed0 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-adhoc.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-adhoc.page
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@
   <p>Instructions inside network settings wrong too</p>
 </comment>
 
-<p>You can connect computers together by forming an <em>ad-hoc</em> wireless network. This is useful if one of the computers has a printer connected to it that you want to share, or if you want to transfer files between them, for example. With a normal (<em>infrastructure</em>) wireless network, you would connect both computers to a wireless network provided by wireless base station or router. If you don't have a base station, however, an ad-hoc network will still allow you to connect the computers to each other.</p>
+<p>You can connect computers together by forming an <em>ad-hoc</em> wireless network. This is useful if one of the computers has a printer connected to it that you want to share, or if you want to transfer files between them, for example. With a normal (<em>infrastructure</em>) wireless network, you would connect both computers to a network provided by wireless base station or router. If you don't have a base station, however, an ad-hoc network will still allow you to connect the computers to each other.</p>
 
 <p>To set-up an ad-hoc wireless network:</p>
 <steps>
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@
  </item>
  
  <item>
-  <p>In the window that appears, choose a name for the wireless network and then look at the <gui>Wireless</gui> tab.</p>
+  <p>In the window that appears, choose a name for the wireless network and then go to the <gui>Wireless</gui> tab.</p>
  </item>
  
  <item>
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
  
  <item>
   <p>On the other computer, click the network icon on the top bar and look for a network with the SSID you chose. It might take a minute or two to appear in the list.</p>
-  <p>Click it to connect to the ad-hoc network. You will be able to access network shares and so on, like you would if both computers were connected to a conventional wireless network.</p>
+  <p>Click it to connect to the ad-hoc network. Once connected, you will be able to access network shares and so on, like you would if both computers were connected to a conventional wireless network.</p>
  </item>
 </steps>
 
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@
   </item>
   
   <item>
-   <p>Go to the <gui>Wireless Security</gui> tab and change the <gui>Security</gui> from <gui>None</gui>.</p>
+   <p>Go to the <gui>Wireless Security</gui> tab and change the <gui>Security</gui> from <gui>None</gui>. WPA is a good, secure choice, but some older wireless cards do not support it so you might have to use WEP instead.</p>
   </item>
   
   <item>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-antivirus.page b/gnome-help/C/net-antivirus.page
index 5deea57..fbbb416 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-antivirus.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-antivirus.page
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
     <desc>There are few Linux viruses, so you probably don't need anti-virus software.</desc>
     
     <revision pkgversion="3.0" date="2011-04-05" status="final"/>
-    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="correct"/>
+    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="final"/>
     <credit type="author">
       <name>GNOME Documentation Project</name>
       <email>gnome-doc-list gnome org</email>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-editcon.page b/gnome-help/C/net-editcon.page
index 326f7e2..fd41860 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-editcon.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-editcon.page
@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@ a wireless network connection. To edit a connection, select it in the
   
   <item>
    <title><gui>BSSID</gui></title>
-   <p>This is the <em>Basic Service Set Identifier</em>. The SSID (see above) is the name of the network which humans are intended to read; the BSSID is a name which the computer understands (it's a string of letters and numbers that's supposed to be unique to the wireless network). If a <link xref="net-wireless-hidden">network is hidden</link>, it will not have an SSID but it will have a BSSID.</p>
+   <p>This is the <em>Basic Service Set Identifier</em>. The SSID (see above) is the name of the network which humans are intended to read; the BSSID is a name which the computer understands (it's a string of letters and numbers that is supposed to be unique to the wireless network). If a <link xref="net-wireless-hidden">network is hidden</link>, it will not have an SSID but it will have a BSSID.</p>
   </item>
   
   <item>
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ a wireless network connection. To edit a connection, select it in the
   
   <item>
    <title><gui>MTU</gui></title>
-   <p>This setting changes the <em>Maximum Transmission Unit</em>, which is the maximum size of a chunk of data that can be sent over the network. When files are sent over a network, data is broken up into small chunks (or packets). The optimal MTU for your network will depend on how likely it is for packets to be lost (due to a noisy connection) and how fast the connection is.</p>
+   <p>This setting changes the <em>Maximum Transmission Unit</em>, which is the maximum size of a chunk of data that can be sent over the network. When files are sent over a network, data is broken up into small chunks (or packets). The optimal MTU for your network will depend on how likely it is for packets to be lost (due to a noisy connection) and how fast the connection is. In general, you should not need to change this setting.</p>
   </item>
   
  </terms>
@@ -115,7 +115,7 @@ a wireless network connection. To edit a connection, select it in the
  <terms>
   <item>
    <title><gui>Automatic (DHCP)</gui></title>
-   <p>Get information like the IP address and DNS server to use from a <em>DHCP server</em>. A DHCP server is a computer (or other device, like a router) connected to the network which decides which settings your computer should have - when you first connect to the network, you will automatically be assigned the correct settings. Most networks use DHCP.</p>
+   <p>Get information like the IP address and DNS server to use from a <em>DHCP server</em>. A DHCP server is a computer (or other device, like a router) connected to the network which decides which network settings your computer should have - when you first connect to the network, you will automatically be assigned the correct settings. Most networks use DHCP.</p>
   </item>
   
   <item>
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ a wireless network connection. To edit a connection, select it in the
   
   <item>
    <title><gui>Link-Local Only</gui></title>
-   <p><em>Link-Local</em> is a way of connecting computers together on a network without requiring a DHCP server or manually defining IP addresses and other information. If you connect to a Link-Local network, the computers on the network will decide amongst themselves which IP addresses to use and so on. This is useful if you want to temporarily connect a few computers together so they communicate amongst themselves.</p>
+   <p><em>Link-Local</em> is a way of connecting computers together on a network without requiring a DHCP server or manually defining IP addresses and other information. If you connect to a Link-Local network, the computers on the network will decide amongst themselves which IP addresses to use and so on. This is useful if you want to temporarily connect a few computers together so they communicate with each other.</p>
   </item>
   
   <item>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-findip.page b/gnome-help/C/net-findip.page
index 4c5fb9e..d97757a 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-findip.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-findip.page
@@ -40,12 +40,10 @@ there in the info.</p>
     <item><p>Your internal IP address will be displayed as the <gui>IP Address</gui>.</p></item>
   </steps>  
 
-  <p>Click <gui>Close</gui> to close the <gui>Connection Information</gui> window.</p>
-
   <p>Find your external, internet IP address:</p>
   <steps>
     <item><p>Visit <link href="http://whatismyipaddress.com/";>whatismyipaddress.com</link>.</p></item>
-    <item><p>The site will display your external IP address for you</p></item>
+    <item><p>The site will display your external IP address for you.</p></item>
   </steps>
  
 </page>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-on-off.page b/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-on-off.page
index 875edb5..eefd783 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-on-off.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-on-off.page
@@ -5,9 +5,9 @@
   <info>
     <link type="guide" xref="net#security"/>
     <link type="guide" xref="web#connections"/>
-    <desc>You can control what programs are accessible by the network.</desc>
+    <desc>You can control which programs can access the network. This helps to keep your computer secure.</desc>
     <revision pkgversion="3.0" date="2011-04-04" status="final"/>
-    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="incomplete"/>
+    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="final"/>
     <credit type="author">
       <name>Paul W. Frields</name>
       <email>stickster gmail com</email>
@@ -16,25 +16,18 @@
     <include href="legal.xml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2001/XInclude"/>
   </info>
 
-  <title>Enabling and blocking firewall access</title>
-<comment>
-<cite>shaunm</cite>
-<p>Technical directions correct, but check language for consistency with
-how we tell people to access the overview.</p>
-</comment>
-  <p>Your system may be equipped with a firewall that allows it to block programs from being accessible by other network users.</p>
-  <p>Many GNOME programs are built to offer network services. For instance, you can share content, or let someone view your desktop remotely. Depending on how you installed GNOME, you may need to adjust the firewall to allow these services to work as intended. For instance, if your GNOME desktop was installed along with a larger software distribution, the firewall may also be pre-configured by the vendor.</p>
-  <p>Each program that provides services uses a specific <em>network port</em>. To enable access to that program's services, you may need to allow access to its assigned port on the firewall. To allow access, follow these steps.</p>
+  <title>Enable or block firewall access</title>
+
+  <p>Your system should be equipped with a <em>firewall</em> that allows it to block programs from being accessed by other people on the internet or your network. This helps to keep your computer secure.</p>
+  <p>Many applications can provide network services. For instance, you can share files or let someone view your desktop remotely. Depending on how your computer is set up, you may need to adjust the firewall to allow these services to work as intended.</p>
+  <p>Each program that provides network services uses a specific <em>network port</em>. To enable other computers on the network to access a service, you may need to "open" its assigned port on the firewall:</p>
 
   <steps>
     <item>
-      <p>To locate your system's firewall tool, open the Overview, and type "firewall".</p>
-      <note>
-	<p>If this step doesn't locate the appropriate tool, consult the documentation for your overall operating system for the correct application name. To open the application, hit <keyseq type="combo"><key>Alt</key><key>F2</key></keyseq>, type that name, and hit <key>Enter</key>.</p>
-      </note>
+      <p>Go to <gui>Activities</gui> in the top left corner of the screen and start your firewall application. You may need to install a firewall manager youself if you can't find one (for example, Firestarter or GUFW).</p>
     </item>
     <item>
-      <p>To allow access to the desired port number through the firewall, enable the port. To block access, disable the port. Repeat this step as needed.</p>
+      <p>Open or disable the port for your network service, depending on whether you want people to be able to access it or not. Which port you need to change will <link xref="net-firewall-ports">depend on the service</link>.</p>
     </item>
     <item>
       <p>Save or apply the changes, following any additional instructions given by the firewall tool.</p>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-ports.page b/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-ports.page
index e6be461..a04eae8 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-ports.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-firewall-ports.page
@@ -4,9 +4,9 @@
 
   <info>
     <link type="guide" xref="net#security"/>
-    <desc>Look at a list of programs that can be allowed through your system's firewall.</desc>
+    <desc>You need to specify the right network port to enable/disable network access for a program with your firewall.</desc>
     <revision pkgversion="3.0" date="2011-04-04" status="final"/>
-    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="correct"/>
+    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="final"/>
     <credit type="author">
       <name>Paul W. Frields</name>
       <email>stickster gmail com</email>
@@ -15,8 +15,8 @@
     <include href="legal.xml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2001/XInclude"/>
   </info>
 
-  <title>Firewall port list</title>
-  <p>The following table lists ports used by your system's firewall to <link xref="net-firewall-on-off">block or allow access</link> to GNOME programs over the network. There are thousands of ports in use, so this table isn't complete. Instead, it presents some of the most common ports you may want to configure on your system. In some cases, the vendor of your GNOME desktop may have pre-configured access to these ports when the system was installed.</p>
+  <title>Commonly-used network ports</title>
+  <p>This is a list of network ports commonly used by applications which provide network services, like file sharing or remote desktop viewing. You can change your system's firewall to <link xref="net-firewall-on-off">block or allow access</link> to these applications. There are thousands of ports in use, so this table isn't complete.</p>
 
   <table>
     <thead>
@@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
 	  <p>mDNS, Avahi</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows systems to find each other, and describe their service offerings, without you having to configure it</p>
+	  <p>Allows systems to find each other, and describe which services they offer, without you having to specify the details manually.</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
       <tr>
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
 	  <p>Printing</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows you to send print jobs to a printer over the network</p>
+	  <p>Allows you to send print jobs to a printer over the network.</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
       <tr>
@@ -63,7 +63,7 @@
 	  <p>Printing</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows you to share your printer with other people over the network</p>
+	  <p>Allows you to share your printer with other people over the network.</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
       <tr>
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@
 	  <p>Presence</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows you to advertise your status, such as "online" or "busy"</p>
+	  <p>Allows you to advertise your instant messaging status to other people on the network, such as "online" or "busy".</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
       <tr>
@@ -85,7 +85,7 @@
 	  <p>Remote desktop</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows you to share your desktop for viewing or remote assistance</p>
+	  <p>Allows you to share your desktop so other people can view it or provide remote assistance.</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
       <tr>
@@ -93,10 +93,10 @@
 	  <p>3689/tcp</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Music sharing</p>
+	  <p>Music sharing (DAAP)</p>
 	</td>
 	<td>
-	  <p>Allows you to share your music library with others on your network</p>
+	  <p>Allows you to share your music library with others on your network.</p>
 	</td>
       </tr>
     </tbody>
diff --git a/gnome-help/C/net-fixed-ip-address.page b/gnome-help/C/net-fixed-ip-address.page
index 3771446..947b5e1 100644
--- a/gnome-help/C/net-fixed-ip-address.page
+++ b/gnome-help/C/net-fixed-ip-address.page
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@
   <info>
     <link type="guide" xref="net#wired"/>
     <revision pkgversion="3.0" date="2011-04-04" status="final"/>
-    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="incomplete"/>
+    <revision pkgversion="3.0" version="3.0.1" date="2011-06-06" status="final"/>
 
     <credit type="author">
       <name>Jim Campbell</name>
@@ -17,25 +17,17 @@
 
   <title>Create a connection with a fixed IP address</title>
 
-<comment>
-<cite>shaunm</cite>
-<p>Is step one needed? Can't do with wireless? Needs consistency check.
-Steps seem correct. Put them in steps element. Style.</p>
-</comment>
+ <p>Most networks will automatically assign an IP address and other details to your computer when you connect to the network. These details can change periodically, but you might want to have a fixed IP address for the computer so you always know what its address is (for example, if it is a file server).</p>
+  <p>To give your computer a fixed (static) IP address:</p>
 
-  <note><p>This article explains how to create a fixed (or static) IP address on your local network. Depending on the plan you have with your Internet service provider (or ISP), you may or may not have a fixed IP address on the internet. If you are not sure which type of connection you have from your service provider, contact your provider for more information.</p></note>
-  <p>Here is how to create a fixed IP address on your network:</p>
-<list type="numbered">
-<item><p>Make sure that your ethernet cable is plugged into the computer.</p></item>
+<steps>
 <item><p>Click the <gui>network icon</gui> in the <gui>top bar</gui>, and select <gui>Network Settings</gui>.</p></item>
-<item><p>Select <gui>Wired</gui> from the list of connection types, and then click <gui>Options</gui>.</p></item>
-<item><p>Click on the <gui>IPv4 Settings</gui> tab.</p></item>
-<item><p>Change the <gui>Method</gui> to <em>Manual</em>.</p></item>
-<item><p>If no connection information exists, or if you want to set up a new connection, click <gui>Add</gui>.</p></item>
-<item><p>Enter the desired <em>IP Address</em>, <em>Net Mask</em>, and <em>Gateway</em> information into the appropriate boxes.</p></item>
-<item><p>If necessary, enter desired <em>Domain Name Server</em> address into the <gui>DNS servers</gui> box.</p></item>
-<item><p>Click <gui>Save</gui>.</p></item>
-<item><p>Close the network settings window.</p></item>
-</list>
+<item><p>Select the network connection from the list (<gui>Wired</gui> or <gui>Wireless</gui>) and click <gui>Options</gui>.</p></item>
+<item><p>Click on the <gui>IPv4 Settings</gui> tab and change the <gui>Method</gui> to <em>Manual</em>.</p></item>
+<item><p>If no connection information is listed in the <gui>Addresses</gui> list, or if you want to set up a new connection, click <gui>Add</gui>.</p></item>
+<item><p>Enter the <em>IP Address</em>, <em>Net Mask</em>, and <em>Gateway</em> information into the appropriate boxes. How you choose these will depend on your network set-up; there are specific rules governing which IP addresses and net masks are valid for a given network.</p></item>
+<item><p>If necessary, enter a <em>Domain Name Server</em> address into the <gui>DNS servers</gui> box. This is the IP address of a server which looks-up domain names; most corporate networks and internet providers have dedicated DNS servers.</p></item>
+<item><p>Click <gui>Save</gui>. The network connection should now have a fixed IP address.</p></item>
+</steps>
 
 </page>
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