Re: Proposal for GNOME press release about Nokia device

[Murray Cumming <murrayc murrayc com>]

sucessful -> successful
like say thank Fluendo -> like to thank Fluendo
ranging from the use of -> from the use of

About "great", it probably is indeed too informal. So is "It's" at the
start of a sentence. "We are pleased to see industry leaders ..." would
be a possible replacement.

I'd say "industry leaders" instead of "an industry leader", because
Nokia are actually one of the last mobile companies to announce use of
Linux, though one of the first to announce use of GNOME. 

On Thu, 2005-05-26 at 10:44 +0200, Christian Fredrik Kalager Schaller
wrote:
> Attached an updated version with most of Simos change suggestions, I
> didn't change great to impressive as the economist style guidelines says
> you should go with a short word instead of a long one when possible
> (thanks to luis for pointing me to that guide :)
> 
> Christian
> 
> On Thu, 2005-05-26 at 01:14 +0100, Simos Xenitellis wrote:
> > Nice work!
> > 
> > Just nitpicking, not something substantial to change. ::)
> > 
> > 1. "It's great to see an industry leader such as..."
> > "It is impressive to see an industry leader such as..."
> > I feel it's too informal to use "It's great to see". Sounds too US-english.
> > 
> > 2. "It's great to see an industry leader such as..."
> > "It is great to see an industry leader such as..."
> > 
> > 3. " Nokia's use of many GNOME technologies, "
> > "Nokia's use of several GNOME technologies,"
> > I would prefer "several" to "many". Again the issue on informality.
> > 
> > 4. Regarding Nokia, patents and the Linux kernel. I suppose you are 
> > referring to
> > http://www.nokia.co.uk/nokia/0,,28358,00.html?press_release_id=http://press.nokia.com/PR/200505/995845.xml
> > As Alex mentioned, I feel it is risky to mention here.
> > 
> > 5. "We think Nokia have set an example to follow.”, says Chairman of the "
> > "We think Nokia have set an example to follow”, says Chairman of the "
> > I think it looks strange to add the full stop. Anyone?
> > 
> > Simos
> > 
> > Christian Fredrik Kalager Schaller wrote:
> > 
> > >Attached is a press release draft I wrote, edited and cleaned up a bit
> > >by Murray. 
> > >
> > >Christian
> > >  
> > >
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >
> > >   GNOME Foundation congratulates Nokia on launch of Nokia 770
> > >
> > > Nokia Corporation launched today the Nokia 770 web tablet based on 
> > > GNOME open source technologies
> > >
> > > May 25, 2005 - Boston, USA
> > >
> > > The GNOME Foundation would like to congratulate Nokia on their 
> > > sucessful launch of the Nokia 770 web tablet. It's great to see an 
> > > industry leader such as Nokia bring GNU/Linux and GNOME technologies 
> > > to the mobile devices market.
> > >
> > > Nokia's use of many GNOME technologies, such as GTK+, GStreamer, 
> > > GConf, GNOME-VFS and dbus, acknowledges the effort made by hundreds of 
> > > people over the last few years. This also shows how the GNOME 
> > > community allows a wide variety of companies and individuals to 
> > > successfully work together.
> > >
> > > This is in addition to Nokia's previous granting of patent rights to 
> > > Linux Kernel developers. The GNOME Foundation is truly excited by 
> > > Nokia's involvement and looks forward to extending the relationship 
> > > during this year's GUADEC conference in Stuttgart, where Nokia is one 
> > > of the presenters.
> > >
> > > The GNOME Foundation would also like say thank Fluendo, OpenedHand and 
> > > Imendio who have worked with Nokia on this device, providing expertise 
> > > in the use of GNOME technologies.
> > >
> > > “The GNOME Foundation is happy to see Nokia taking a very open 
> > > approach with this project, ranging from the use of open source 
> > > software to Creative Commons licensing for the graphics and artwork. 
> > > We think Nokia have set an example to follow.”, says Chairman of the 
> > > GNOME Foundation board, Owen Taylor.
> > >
> > >
> > >     About the GNOME Foundation
> > >
> > > Comprised of hundreds of volunteer developers and industry-leading 
> > > companies, the GNOME Foundation is committed to supporting the 
> > > advancement of GNOME. The Foundation provides organizational, 
> > > financial and legal support to the GNOME project and helps determine 
> > > its vision and roadmap. GNOME is an entirely free user environment for 
> > > desktops, networked servers and portable Internet devices. The modern 
> > > architecture and design of GNOME includes a technically advanced 
> > > application development platform and a powerful end-user desktop 
> > > environment. Major software companies and computer manufacturers 
> > > support the GNOME development effort, which is led by a worldwide 
> > > community of volunteers. More information on GNOME is available at 
> > > www.gnome.org.
> > >
> > >
> > >     About Nokia
> > >
> > > Nokia is a world leader in mobile communications, driving the growth 
> > > and sustainability of the broader mobility industry. Nokia connects 
> > > people to each other and the information that matters to them with 
> > > easy-to-use and innovative products like mobile phones, devices and 
> > > solutions for imaging, games, media and businesses. Nokia provides 
> > > equipment, solutions and services for network operators and 
> > > corporations. www.nokia.com
> > >
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > -- 
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-- 
Murray Cumming
murrayc murrayc com
www.murrayc.com
www.openismus.com