Re: release notes: first draft
- From: Bob Kashani <bobk ocf berkeley edu>
- To: Claus Schwarm <c schwarm gmx net>
- Cc: gnome-i18n gnome org, davyd madeley id au, desktop-devel-list gnome org, marketing-list gnome org
- Subject: Re: release notes: first draft
- Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2006 14:41:46 -0800
On Thu, 2006-03-09 at 23:30 +0100, Claus Schwarm wrote:
> two suggestion if I'm not too late already:
> 1.) The first sentence is too long: Please stop it after "platforms"
> otherwise people with low attention will stop reading right there.
> 2.) "includes" sounds strange. Why not just remove it?
> The paragraph then reads:
> "GNOME 2.14 is the latest version of the GNOME Desktop; a popular,
> multi-platform desktop environment for Linux™, UNIX™ and other
> platforms. Based on Free and Open Source Software, GNOME provides all
> of the common tools computer users have come to expect of a modern
> computing environment, as well as a flexible and powerful platform for
> software developers."
I like this much better. It flows much nicer too. I made the changes.
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